some things you learn to adjust to and understand, you most certainly have to, whether you like it or not. I hate this type of boredom, I like going out being free, but that costs money. You think for someone like me, to complain about money is unlikely, but it’s true, all the times, I spent looking fly, I could’ve put towards an education you know that right? It makes sense sometimes and other times it doesn’t …because you aren’t owed shit in this life, but death„that’s coming whether we steer from it…or what not…
I don’t know what people expect me to do or say but sometimes I get it..you learn from your mistakes you study hard and you deal. No matter how much pressure it is, that’s what you do, take it easy on yourself, because it’s all that you can do for now… Not mess up because it’s your turn now. I’ve spent money on worst shit before believe me. I cannot fathom what I can possibly need now…I have it all…I’m content but I do want to make an investment, something smart you know..something relating to stocks or a business of some sort, I always wanted to own my own business..I have an eye for unique pieces, that’s what people say, they can be lying… I miss summer already, I’ma fall baby as I’m told..sucks dick having two birthdays, you don’t know what it’s like to have two birthdays unless you’ve grown up in a foreign household lol. May 20th, was so bad, man that couldn’t have been my real birthday…on my real birthday..or days before…I kind of like to chill heavy, Idk if I want Nas tickets or not..I’m forever down for an adventure, I’m thug life, but not everyone around me is.. I’m YOLOing and everyone always says “oh…you have to be responsible”, honestly I like responsible first. Like it humbles me not to be reckless, there’s not much you can do in your life, that doesn’t involve other humans, I’m so trying to crack this code of aloneness… seriously when I stop fucking with everyone, they feel as If I’m acting better than they are…look dude….I’m not… I just want to have a non filtered life…which means I technically filter myself around therefore fuck you..
everyone abandons their principles for some fun but to be honest….I’ve done that, it wasn’t pretty believe me… I know…I’m undergoing mad shit, I write a lot when I do, I hate when people can’t relate to my struggle, makes me shun them more. Lames, I’m so sick of being underwhelmed, I’m going to focus on being creative, I have to create things for myself, people don’t fill that missing gap, learning does for me, learning new shit, but seriously discussing conspiracies with people is pretty awk and lame, like we’re woke you knw? We don’t have to really just what…ever man..just stop talking about that shit with me, I spent too much time in my head. I really do…
I want to escape it, I hope to get that refreshment again you know…I hope to god that refreshment doesn’t lie in another human being, I want to really discover me, I want to get to know myself more, that’s selfish but I need me time, I’m petty. I love being selfish, my life is about to take a turn in a big way, may it be bigger than ever, yo…but to be honest …yes I love challenges, I can’t be the “I don’t wanna do this shit” person anymore. I grew up mad spoiled, and I have lots of issues, what the hell man….
I even have a terrible attitude when it comes to being positive, I can be but I wish to eliminate all hateful things from my life, b. I want to be drowning in positivity…
HOLLA. < I really need to stop saying that…because nobody says that…like ever